Monday, October 22, 2012

Life without Rev. Moon

I'm really really honored that Jane and Edith over at The Hairpin agreed to publish an essay of mine. A thousand times "Thank you!"

The story in that essay is sort of a bookend to what we are beginning over here. Thanks to everyone that's joining us for the ride. <3

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Thirty-thousand feet seems like a good altitude at which to question one's life. “I am already in motion,” I tell myself. It's a kind of progress. Shortly after my twentieth birthday I was in progress, between JFK and Heathrow, en route to Oslo. 
After takeoff the girl sitting next to me smiled kindly, asking where I was headed. I told her: 
“To Norway. To visit my husband.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a stack of glossy women's magazines, offering me several. They promised hot sex tips, orgasm-inducing positions, and advice on how to find a man to orgasm with. She pointed to a few with a wink. “Maybe you can find something nice in there for your husband.” 
Today, almost a decade later, to use the word husband feels wrong; I avoid it. But at the time it was what he said I should call him. “I am your husband!” he would say. The word sounded foreign in my ears; "husband" was supposed to be a word attached to “honoring” and “cherishing,” and whatever else heartfelt marriage vows should entail. 
But I had not been given the choice to say those vows.

4 comments:

  1. I read this on the Hairpin, and then followed the link over to your blog and it was amazing in a kind of horrible way to read about the things you were forced into. I can't possible imagine how awful that must have been and must still be. Thank you for sharing your story.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. Our intent certainly isn't to shock or horrifying, but sometimes it's REALLY healthy for us to hear those kinds of reactions. It makes me realize that there is still a weird standard of normal inside of me, because I look back on the experience in the essay on the Hairpin and mostly blame myself for letting myself be subjected to that series of events.

      But anyway thank you so much for reading and taking the time to come by and say hello! <3

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  2. I've also come here from the Hairpin and read through your whole site. Thank you for such well-expressed, moving and evocative words. I feel privileged to have shared such a story!
    I wish you both the very best of luck on your continuing journeys. Maybe a book?!
    x

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    1. Lucy, thanks so much for your very kind words and for your compassion. Right now we don't have any real plans for the content of this site, other than as a means of catharsis. However, if there were enough interest in a book that would be lovely down the road.

      Thanks for stopping by! <3

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